15 Questions Before Your Parent Comes Home

No long read here. Just the questions you need answered.

If your parent is coming home from hospital, run through these before discharge day.

1. Do you know when your parent is coming home?

Sometimes there’s a firm discharge date. Sometimes it’s a rolling date and changes as they progress.

If it suddenly becomes tomorrow, who can be there?

2. Has an OT looked at what they’ll be coming home to?

Slippery bathrooms, loose rugs, stairs, poor lighting, getting in and out of bed.

If an occupational therapist has recommended equipment or changes at home, who is making sure they’re done before your parent gets there? 

3. Who is physically going to be there on discharge day?

Who is getting them home, inside, settled and staying long enough to see how they’re managing?

If family can’t do it, who can?

4. Who is keeping track of the follow-up?

GP. Specialists. Physio. Tests. Scripts.

Who knows what needs booking, what’s already booked and when everything is happening?

5. Is everyone clear on the medication plan?

What changed in hospital? What continues at home? What stopped? Are there new scripts to fill?

It’s worth getting this completely clear before leaving hospital.

6. What equipment is needed at home?

Ordering and delivery can take coordination and time.

Walker, shower chair and non-slip mats, raised toilet seat or whatever the OT, physio or discharge team has recommended.

7. What are they going to eat for the first week?

Is there food in the house?

Can they prepare it themselves?

And is it nutritious food they like and will eat?

8. Do you know what signs would mean calling the doctor or going back to hospital?

Ask the treating team before discharge.

Much easier than trying to work it out when something changes at 2am.

9. Has someone spoken to the hospital social worker or discharge planner?

What is the hospital organising?

What does the family need to organise?

Is there support available that nobody has asked about yet?

10. Who is around for the first few days at home?

Who knows how things went yesterday, what’s happening tomorrow and whether something has changed?

11. What happens if recovery doesn’t go to plan?

If Mum is managing well on day one and struggling on day three, can the plan change with her?

Who makes that happen?

12. Is your parent happy with the help being organised?

It can be confronting to need support. What will they accept? And who will they be comfortable having around?

13. What family and friend support is available?

Who can take time off work? Stay overnight? Change their plans at short notice?

Siblings have children, businesses, careers, divorces, their own lives. Sometimes they don’t agree. Sometimes relationships with each other or with a parent are complicated.

Families are families.

It’s worth being realistic about who can do what.

14. What kind of help would suit your parent?

Someone for discharge day?

Someone there overnight?

A week of support?

Regular check-ins?

Someone to go to appointments and keep track of what was said?

Someone who can liaise with the OT, physio, GP, specialists and family?

15. Anything else going on that matters?

A husband or wife who needs help too?

A dog that needs walking?

A fridge full of things that should have been thrown out three weeks ago?

Bills piling up?

Sometimes it’s the ordinary stuff that highlights the gaps.

How did you go?

You might have every one of these covered.

You might have got halfway through and realised there are a few things nobody has thought about yet.

Either way, it’s much easier to work that out before discharge day than when the hospital calls to say Mum or Dad can go home.

And sometimes the problem isn’t knowing what needs doing.

It’s that the people who would normally do it are in London, Singapore, Melbourne, at work, looking after children, or just simply can’t drop everything for a week.

That's where I've made my name.

I’m not a nurse or a traditional carer. I’m ex-Qantas First Class crew, and I’m used to looking at the whole situation, noticing what needs doing and getting on with it.

I can be there for discharge day, overnight, the first week, the first month. It depends entirely on what’s going on.

I’m fully insured, police checked, have my WWCC and current CPR.

I can be there when you can’t.

If these questions don't have easy answers

Call me.

Jane | The Gentle PA 

M: 0416 563 428